Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Rejection

Inspired by all of the people I met at Fitbloggin and the feedback I received from them, I recently reached out to a local yoga studio about teaching.  I've wanted to teach yoga since I got my certification in February but I've held myself back, which I discussed in this post. I've been emailing back and forth with the studio owner and the time has come to meet her in person.  I've actually taken her classes before, so she might recognize me when she sees me, but she probably doesn't recognize me by name.

I'm petrified on so many levels.  I'm afraid she's going to take a look at me and reject me.  I'm fully preparing myself for a "Thanks, but no thanks" email after tomorrow afternoon's meeting.

I'm also scared of getting the job, walking into the class for the first time and being judged and rejected by the students.  What if someone walks out on a class without first trying it?  What is someone comes up to me and tells me I shouldn't be teaching yoga?  As someone who very much cares what other people think, the idea puts me on edge.

As such, I find myself thinking of ways I can get out of this - reject the opportunity before I get rejected.  That way I'm out on my own terms.  But then I come back to the fact that I really want to teach and so many people have said to me that I should teach.  I don't know, but I do know my stomach is going to be in knots tomorrow. 

Friday, July 11, 2014

Fitbloggin 14

Two weeks ago today I was sitting in a hotel in Savannah.  It was Fitbloggin weekend and I was feeling super overwhelmed and wondering what I was doing there.

I was extremely nervous heading into my first blogging conference - the only person I knew was Dawn, I didn't really know what I was getting into, and I'm not a big blogger.  I was hoping that I would go to some cool sessions, get in a few workouts, and meet some awesome people.

The sessions were good.  I embraced my introverted self at a session on Blogging for Introverts, received some Fitblogger Tough Love and discussed how to Maintain the Weight Loss Mojo.

There were workouts scheduled every day.  I made the decision to skip the bootcamp the first morning because I was super intimidated.  I did step outside of my comfort zone and participated in Zumba - I have no rhythm and avoid anything dance at all costs.  However, everyone had awesome things to say about the class and the people who led it, and with an 80's theme, how could I skip it?  While there was definitely some self-consciousness, I had a lot of fun.  And the instructors inspired me without them even knowing it.  Then of course there was yoga.  I love yoga and this class was an excellent way to start the day.

As many others have written, Fitbloggin is about the people and I found myself lucky to have met some pretty incredible people.  Dawn, Brooke, Kelly, Liz, Melanie, Monica, Deanna, Ashley, Stephanie,  Emily...I'm sure I'm leaving someone out, but these ladies left such an impression on me.

I haven't decided if I'm going to go to Fitbloggin next year, even though it's in Denver, a  city I've always wanted to visit.  Luckily I have some time to decide.

Monday, June 30, 2014

Cut the crap

I spent the past weekend at Fitbloggin in Savannah GA.  And while I plan to recap the conference and the experience I had, I have a little homework to do first.

One of the sessions I attended was called Fitblogger Tough Love, moderated by Mrs.Fatass and Steve Gray.  The main theme of the session was how can we as a fitblogging community maintain the love while also keeping each other accountable.  We are all so supportive of each other but don't always give the tough love we might need to.

We were challenged to write a post calling ourselves out on our crap and the excuses we give ourselves.  So, here goes.

1.  I want to teach yoga yet I'm not making any efforts to be in a place where I can do that.  Instead of taking a step forward, I'm staying stuck in a place of fear.  I need to put my intentions out into the universe and see what comes back to me.  This starts with emailing a local studio about their recent inquiry for certified yoga teachers.
2.  I need to stop with the excuses, no matter what they are.  They are not helping me reach my goals.
3.  I need to break up with Chik Fil A.
4.  2 times a week at the gym is not going to cut it.  I need to stop coming home from work and sitting on my ass for the rest of the day.  Remember yoga and the spin classes I loved so much?  Those need to come back into my life.
5.  I need to start cooking again and limit eating out.
6.  Finally, I need to get out of the house and stop hiding.  It's time to stop being so ashamed of what I look like and start living life again.  This is the only life I have and it's already too short.

As a group, we came up with two hashtags to use when giving a fellow blogger some tough love.  Attaching #justtrollin or #tribelove to our comments lets someone know that what we are saying is coming from a place of concern or love.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Preparing for Fitblogggin'

Fitbloggin' is this week!  I leave for Savannah on Thursday and I have a feeling it will be a whirlwind of a weekend.  

I'm probably going to be ill prepared (I don't have business cards or media kits like a lot of bloggers do) and I'm not quite sure what I want to get out of this conference.  I'm nervous for a lot of reasons - I don't really know anyone, I'm not at the weight I want to be at and I'm not a big blogger.  This will be a big step outside of my comfort zone.  However, I think excitement is starting to win out over nervousness.  

The things about Fitbloggin' I am looking forward to:
  • Meeting a bunch of great people with similar goals and interests
  • A Savannah Ghost Tour - this is going to be sooooooo much fun
  • Hugs - Apparently everyone hugs at Fitbloggin'
  • Some awesome sessions  
  • Yoga, boot camp, a Cross Fit style workout, PiYo and other new to me workouts
  • Exploring Savannah
It's going to be a busy few days but with the potential to be so much fun!





Sunday, June 1, 2014

June is...

June is going to be a very busy month for me, but a great month!


  • I will meet my new nice for the first time!  Emily was born in May and I haven't had a chance to get to Florida yet to see her, my sister, and the rest of the family.
  • I'm spending a week in Utah.  For a state I never thought I'd visit, this will be my third time there in the last 2 years.  I'm excited because there is still a lot I want to see (Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon National Park, Park City).
  • NYC baby!  A friend and I are going to see Les Miserables on Broadway.  We are theater geeks and super excited because one of out favorite actors, Ramin Karimloo, is playing Jean Valjean.  We both saw Ramin in concert here last year and were blown away, so we can't wait to see him tackle this role!
  • I'm going to my first Fitbloggin'.  Dawn talked me into it and even though I'm nervous about going to a conference where I really won't know anyone, I'm glad I'm going.  I've got some great roommates (Brooke and Heather) and can't wait to visit Savannah!
  • Other summer shenanigans - boating on the Potomac River with friends, summer concerts at local wineries, hiking, and just general overall fun!

Summer is just getting started and I can't wait to make it the best one yet!

Friday, May 9, 2014

Fitbit

My brother-in-law gave me a fitbit last year and I've worn it regularly since.  I'm kind of a geek about data and being able to analyze it, so I was excited.  Especially about the sleep tracker - it's such a neat concept to me to be able to see how well I sleep at night.  I set my steps goal at 10000 and went on my merry way.

Even though I have an extremely sedentary job (aka I sit in front of a computer all day), I was under the delusion that I got in plenty of steps.  So color me surprised when I synced my fitbit that night and barely reached 3000 steps.  That couldn't be right, I told myself.  I walked more than that - between the walk to and from the parking garage at work, walking to and from my office, to and from the bathroom.

But day after day, my steps rarely exceeded 3000.  This really opened my eyes to how sedentary I've gotten and I find myself wanting to do something about it.  I have a tendency to get wrapped up in my work and can sit at my desk for hours on end, so I've been making a conscious effort to get up more during the day. I'm using the stairs more than the elevator and using the bathroom that's furthest away. I've also started adding friends to my account for some accountability.

I'm sometimes skeptical of gadgets such as this, but I'm really motivated by the data I've been getting from my fitbit.  I really want to spend this summer getting my daily steps up by getting into a consistent groove.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Yoga

I haven't written much about yoga lately - well, I haven't written much lately.  

I finished Yoga Teacher Training a month ago.  After 6 months of hard work, busy weekends, and endless studying, I received a certificate that says I am qualified to teach yoga.

I'm not teaching yoga.  At least not yet.  But that doesn't mean I don't want to.

I struggled mentally with yoga teacher training.  I'm not at a size or fitness level I want to be at.  I struggled with comparing myself to the other yogis and yoginis in my class.  I love all of them dearly, but being in a class full of personal trainers and what I call "super yogis" was intimidating.  Every weekend I questioned what I was doing there - why did I think I could be a yoga teacher when I weighed more that I wanted and a headstand was not part of my regular practice?

Part of yoga is removing yourself from the comparison trap.  It's about being at peace with where you are at this very moment.  This is easier said than done.  But as teacher training progressed, I thought back on why I originally wanted to sign up and try to be a yoga teacher.  It always came back to how wonderful yoga makes me feel - mentally and physically - and the desire to share that with people.  As I came closer to graduating from YTT, I thought about the kind of teacher I wanted to be and what I wanted to leave my students with.  

I want to teach, but there is something holding me back - my size/weight/lack of a "yoga teacher" body.  I'm scared I'll go into a gym or studio, they'll take one look at me, and reject me.  I'm scared this will happen before they even get a chance to talk to me, to hear what I can offer yoga students, or to hear my philosophy on teaching yoga.

I don't necessarily want to wait until I have the perfect "yoga teacher" body to put myself out there, because odds are I'll never have that body.  I'm not sure what to do - do I face the real possibility of rejection due to my size, or do I put myself out there and give myself the possibility that I may be able to teach yoga?