Saturday Morning Run

So, somehow, this happened today, and it was a struggle!


I don't even know where to begin or what to say about this morning's training run. It was great. It was awful.

The Good:

• I have a new personal distance record - 14 miles.
• Our time at 13.1 miles was 5 minutes faster than the half marathon finish time in May.
• The first 10 miles were great - I felt good and was fully prepared to finish the last 4 miles feeling the same way.

The Bad:

• My stomach!!!!!!! I started not feeling so well around mile 10 and seriously thought I was going to be sick on the trail. This resulted in walking more of the last 4 miles than I would have liked.
• I felt bad that I was holding my running partner back, when she was clearly feeling great and wanted to keep going.
• I kept thinking the usual negative thoughts and figuring out how I could quit during the last 4 miles. It was not pretty and there may have been some tears.

I'm not proud of the last 4 miles of today's training run. At the time, I was miserable, upset, my stomach was rebelling, and I just wanted to be done. But, sitting here now, I wonder if I could have powered through. Could I have kept going? Why am I so readily willing to give up on myself?

Even when you are training with other people, running is still a solo sport. And even though that sucks sometimes, that I get so wrapped up in my head and convince myself I'm never going to be able to do this, it could be an opportunity to prove something to myself. Each new distance is a struggle, but every time I complete it, it shows me how strong I can be. Because I completed it on my own two feet. And I don't have to run according to someone else's idea of how fast I should be going or how long I should be running. I can't keep comparing myself to other runners I know, because I am not them. I'm just me.